New York thin crust pizza is superior to Chicago deep dish. Change my mind
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With 3 votes and 9 points ahead, the winner is ...
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You read that correctly
Greetings! Debate art fellow patrons. Tonight, I present to the community, the most epic clash perhaps the community has ever seen. This debate will not be a rational dialogue, but a single handed floor mopping, as the gloves in this debate are off, and I will not stop until the resolution has been proven, and men women and children across America are eating the correct pizza, and Chicago's deep dish reign of terror is but a distant memory.
I will go full Italian hotheaded lawyer, and demolish my opponent until the crowd laughs, sneers, and folds their slices. And, now, court is in session. I present my case, but first, some definitions.
Superior: According to Merriam Webster, superior can be defined as:
"of higher rank, quality, or importance."
And I will use "of higher quality" in regards to this debate.
New York Style thin crust: The delicious, thin, crispy and traditional pizza your ancestors enjoyed for centuries.
Chicago style deep dish: A meat and cheese casserole masquerading as pizza.
And now, here are the facts:
1. Chicago style deep dish pizza can literally kill you.
Picture, if you will, my audience. A busy inner city construction worker. It's a chilly autumn day as the day begins with hammering, drilling, and nail guns booming. As the day grows longer, our construction worker, Bill, decides to get some lunch for the crew. He steps down from his 16 story scaffold and heads down to the first floor, to walk across the street the local pizza joint.
Arriving at the usual pizza joint he's been buying lunch from for years, he is in shock as they have changed their menu. No longer will they be serving NY style pizza, the only pizza him and the crew know and love, they will now be serving Chicago style deep dish.
Slightly dismayed, but overall stoic, Bill decides to get several pies for the crew anyway.
He heads back up to the 16th floor, and serves the crew the new "pizza".
This is where things take a turn. After eating the deep dish conglomerate, several of Bill's workers decide to sit down on some steel beams and take a rest. Because the "pizza" was so heavy, filling, and rich, they, not accustomed to the fullness and sluggishness that ensues, fall asleep on the iron beams, and roll off of them during their nap, falling tragically 16 stories.
If Chicago style deep dish pizza was not so heavy and filling, these men would not have fallen asleep and fallen off the scaffolding. STRIKE ONE
2. Chicago style Pizza WILL cost you your job.
Let's imagine a busy mom named Ingrid. She is a single mother looking for a new job. She has an interview scheduled for 1:00 pm at a prestigious law firm. At 12:00, some friends ask her if she wants to stop by the local pizza joint and get some lunch. She says sure, but quickly because she has an important interview.
The girls sit down at a local pizzeria, but unbeknownst to Ingrid, this is a Chicago style pizza place. Ingrid was expecting a quick couple of slices, instead, the server takes 30 minutes and brings out a massive casserole filled with every meat and cheese imaginable. It is now 12:30, and, not wanting to be rude, Ingrid decides to have a quick bite. However, her "quick bite" turns into a long, arduous process of fork and knifing a slice of seemingly endless cheese and sauce.
Baffled by the concoction, it is now 12:45 and Ingrid will not make it to her interview on time.
Ingrid is now jobless, and her children hungry. But don't worry, I'm sure she'll bring home some leftovers. Thanks Chicago!
3. New York Pizza is convenient.
Whether you're a hip, skateboarding SJW rolling down to your next gender studies class, and want a quick, convenient bite to eat on the go, or a busy lawyer trying to get John Gotti busted, a slice of New York style pizza is always readily available to eat on the go. Beloved by wise guys and cops alike, this pizza is the true symbol of American freedom. Chicago pizza is a slow, sit down ritual that leaves the eater in a daze.
The answer is clear, NY pizza is better.
For this Round, Con agrees with most of what Pro has suggested so far. The NY flimsy-crust is a good lunch-to-dinner ranked meal that's low quantity+quality of cheese and dough and low time-consuming to make, relative to the Chicago luscious alternative.
What takes too much time for you to eat on a work lunch break? A deluxe dinner. Exactly.
Slowly we can see if Pro has a leg left to stand on...
In my other debate with D&A you saw me annihilate him with 32-sourced mastery. Here you are seeing a different form of mastery.
End of the fucking line!