Hardest times of your life

I love to work out. I get bored and frustrated if I do not get to work out vigorously every day. It has to happen.

Today I went to gym, and I watched a Jordan Peterson video. I was at the gym for almost three hours.

When you exercise, do you not find that you feel better? Isn't this feeling enough to spur you on? I believe you can do it. It is great to finally feel relaxed after pushing yourself to the edge.

Would you consider playing sports?

I don't think I've ever had a runner's high. I felt a sense of pride and accomplishment the one time I managed 5 miles, but I wouldn't quite compare it to a high. As for sports, no, I've never been interested in sports. I don't even like to watch them. Wouldn't mind if I did more roller skating because I do enjoy that but it isn't a sport.

You should try the roller skating again.

I certainly have the high, every time. I also get a “winner's high” when playing sports. Beating others and winning feels great, exerting the body and getting rid of copious amounts of energy and doing something with all the grit is even better.

I do want better lives for the people I care about. I dont believe in souls though.

It's always helpful to have the family around when you're going through a terrible moment. And the people who say they would never think about killing themselves is because they've never experienced this pain (either physical or mental) that makes anyone think in leaving this life as an option.

I fell very sick many years ago, long before the covid pandemic. I was so fucked up that I had insomnia, anxiety and in the worst moments depression. I'm not a person of taking medication because I consider it the worst crap westerners made up. I'm not like Americans that take pain killers at the minimum pain, so I am a man that endure a lot of pain, but this sickness took me down in the worst way so I just had to suck it up while looking for a solution. 

Just to clarify, this mental disorder was part of the symptoms of a major illness that I prefer not to mention so I'm not a person that get depressed or anxious so easily for stupid things like a broke up or something of that sort. Fortunately I could overcome this illness but that made me understood that it's possible to have suicidal thoughts because there are some types of pain that can't be handled for so long. So my best advice is never give up in finding a solution and in the mean while get support from family. 

How is a breakup stupid to be deeply upset over?

I’m actually not as ethnocentric as my posts from like 2016-now probably make me appear. It’s more that I think the racial narrative in the US is toxic and false and it frustrates me, and posting what are sometimes bitter rants on sites like this is an outlet. But the idea of something like refusing to give a qualified person a job because they’re the wrong ethnicity ethnicity I could never do that…

I AM extremely concerned about the fact that it seems to me that in a multicultural society people who are ethnocentric outcompete groups who aren’t. At every company I’ve worked out there are entire departments that are 100% Indian because in those companies an Indian person got into a position of power and refused to hire anyone other than other Indians. But I think doing that type of thing is disgusting and immoral and can’t bring myself to do it even in response to others. So idk exactly what the right thing to do is 

Been through some rough times… Medication and therapy have kept me alive.

You are Catholic fascist now?

Time for my Rosary prayer!

When you used to be on top and then go back down. The feeling of disappointment is unrecognisable.

Especially academic 

I'm fond of a smoky quartz, that a coworker gave me.

He said it would keep away bad luck, which I find amusing.

But I 'do like the idea, it encourages me to be aware of what 'is in my control,

The effort that I put into Mindfulness and Reaction.

I'm fond of Ego.

Course, you also have some programs such as the 12 steps. Some of which.

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

. . .

Involve a giving 'up of Ego.

A willingness to admit when a situation is beyond oneself.

I'm not sure Atheists can so easily turn their lives over to 'God though.

But I suppose that is what the 'Power and As We Understood Him is for.

. . . What one 'highest Values then, perhaps.

From some people it's a Goal, a Dream, something they 'want. Maybe they want to protect/help/stop hurting those they love.

Maybe they want to 'enjoy life and not suffer,

Purpose 'might be to maximize that Rock, whatever it may be.

Some people,

I think are able to 'Compare Experiences,

Whether their 'own past or another's.

If one has experienced some 'greater pain and difficulty. . . Yet they still live, they 'survived, and 'can again, their current experience will not kill them either.

Other people's events, well, I 'do feel fortunate, that I have not suffered as many other people in life have and do suffer, when I compare my pains to theirs, my pain does not look so much.

I'm not in pain, this is just describing thought processes that people might have.

And in hardest times,

I think it's good to keep moving,

Keep getting sun, keep exercising, keep eating well, keep socializing.

No sun, no physical activity, no nutrition, no human contact.

'Usually going to make one feel worse,

But case to case basis I suppose.

Madness can be but a step away sometimes in life, I'd agree.

Straws on camels backs,

And limits of human endurance.

Though it's amazing what some people in history 'have endured.

If you suffer due to a breakup it means that you can't let things go. It means that your happiness depends on what other people gives you. It's stupid if you kill yourself because of that. 

If you want to be happy in this life, learn to be so with yourself and don't give a fvck about what people think about you.