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@Greyparrot
Could be, but let's lynch Chris first to make sure that he isn't a 1x lynchproof mafia. It costs us nothing to test that, since it won't end the DP.
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That being said, Speed did seem rather eager to lynch Earth. At this point, though, I'd sooner trust a random number generator than my own reads. I am consistently wrong, in this game and in most others that I have played.
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@Greyparrot
I think the blame for that is more on me. I knew I would make the wrong decision about whether to claim, and I did.
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@USBurning
Dude, you're not supposed to outdo me in satire in this thread. This is where I get to show off, not you!
Well done.
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@Mharman
If a player tried to use a role and got roleblocked, would they be informed that they had been roleblocked? Would they be informed that their action had failed?
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I'm trying to figure out why there was no NK. A few theories:
1. Town has a third protective/defensive role like 1x bulletproof or something. Since we now know that Earth was town, he was telling the truth about guarding Pie. This indicates that mafia has a strongman or a roleblocker. If mafia has a strongman, then a strongman should have gone right through the protective role. If mafia has a roleblocker, then wouldn't Mharman have told Earth his action had failed? Need to ask him about that. Or maybe mafia has a JOAT that only had 1x strongman.
2. Mafia waived the NK. I have absolutely no idea why mafia would do that in a non-MYLO situation. Maybe they're worried about a potential watcher/tracker? Still, mafia usually NKs anyway despite that possibility.
3. Mafia can only kill every other night. While this explanation works, it is highly unlikely and rather bizarre.
4. Maybe mafia has some kind of poisoner role where the NK from last night won't take effect until the start of the next DP.
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@RationalMadman
DDO was in a debilitating coma, what was pulled was the life support.
Good analogy.
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@Mharman
VTL Chris to make sure he isn't 1x lynchproof mafia or other weird anti-town role.
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@badger
Who were you on? @Sir
I wasn't on anybody. Either mafia waived, or town has yet another protective/defensive role. Or maybe there's some other possibility.
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@USBurning
This topic has been featured in the new edition of the DART Bard. Read about it here: https://www.debateart.com/forum/topics/7647-dart-bard-5th-edition-ddo-dies-6-12-2022?page=1&post_number=1
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@Mharman
@jamezrevenge
This topic has been featured in the new edition of the DART Bard. Read about it here: https://www.debateart.com/forum/topics/7647-dart-bard-5th-edition-ddo-dies-6-12-2022?page=1&post_number=1
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Disclaimer: The below content is entirely satirical. Any events described within it are not necessarily factual. Any representation of any person, whether a site member or not, is not intended to be accurate or in any way offensive. I wonder whether anyone actually reads these disclaimers. Any use of negative terms or portrayal of any person or site member is for the sole purpose of satirical humor and is not intended to be offensive. I do not necessarily agree with any opinions expressed below.
DART BARD
Edited by SirAnonymous
5th edition
NEWS
End of an Era: Users Preserve DDO History as Juggle Shuts It Down
By Environmental Wacko
One week ago, Debate.org, commonly referred to as DDO, was shut down by its controversial owner, Juggle. For years, DDO was home to a thriving indigineous community of debaters. After being acquired by Juggle, the website sank into a sea of spam and trolls, prompting the majority of users to jump ship. Rather than attempt to conserve this natural landmark, Juggle decided to attack the online debating environment by shutting the website down. In response, a variety of environmental activists banded together to preserve the legacy of their former habitat. Mharman set up a DDO history server that, among other things, included data from hundreds of mafia games. Meanwhile, USBurning archived the website’s debates, forums, profiles, and polls. While the environment-haters hold positions of power today, they will never win. It is up to us to ensure that the online debating environment will live on!
Environmental Wacko is a climate activist, blogger, and professional basket-weaver.
Report: Former DDO Trolls Struggle to Move on After Debate Bridge Collapses
By Carl Engels
After DDO’s descent into irrelevance, it became home to an unending stream of trolls sheltering under its bridge. Now that the bourgeoisie at Juggle have taken down the website, these trolls have suddenly found themselves without a home. According to reports, this had led to severe cases of anxiety, depression, and turning into stone after exposure to daylight. Comrades, we must help our proletariat brothers. Without the ability to promote conspiracy theories denying the existence of viruses or home-health remedies that would make even Gwynneth Paltrow retch or even openly promoting pedophilia, these trolls may be forced to do something other than spew lies, insults, and advertisements. Why, horror of horrors, they might be forced to enter the slavery and oppression of capitalism and - gasp- get a job! In fact, they might even -
“I don’t need your sympathy, you molon-labe screaming eel biting cataract with a rotund ball-bearing vanilla-rotten teeny bopper! That’s just your miss-steak, you hateful…”
Ahem! Actually, on second thought, maybe getting off the internet would be good for them.
Carl Engels is a writer from California and the recently published author of Real Socialism: Why We’ll Get It Right This Time.
DART Bard Editor Pretends That His Paper is Still Relevant
By Grandpa Curmudgeon
Oh look, guess who’s back. Yup, it’s that guy who thinks he’s sooo funny that he writes a paper called the DART Bard. Just you watch that punk pretend that no one noticed he and his crummy paper disappeared for months. That rapscallion is just going to pretend that his paper is still relevant, isn’t he? Well, back in my day, if you opened a business, you worked. When I was yer age, I didn’t slack off and miss work. No sirree, I was there every day from sunup to sundown working. But now you can just disappear from work for a year and then come back like you never left? Kids these days. Irresponsable, lazy slackers. And then here comes this “editor” pretending that people will still care about his paper. Yup, you see him, sonny? That right there is what we used to call a failure.
Grandpa Curmudgeon is the proud grandfather of seven young rascals. He spends his days writing, thinking, and throwing his dentures at lazy losers - Yipe!
RationalMadman Foils Illuminati and Reaches Second Place on Leaderboard
By Conspi Theo
After climbing up the debate leaderboard, former King of the Hill RationalMadman recently reached second place on the leaderboard. His rating peaked at 1800, making him the second debater to reach the mark, following only the legendary shapeshifting reptilian oromagi. He has also passed 400 debates. But the Illuminati isn’t finished yet, friends! They’ve sabotaged RM and brought him back down to third! It’s clear that they’ve corrupted the moderators and are trying to claim the leaderboard for themselves. They’ve obviously used chemtrails to brainwash voters into voting against him. You all need to wake up, sheeple!
Conspi Theo is a biblical scholar and scientist who lives on his own in the West Virginia forests, where he spends his time attempting to track down new, large, bipedal species of apes. When he isn’t researching, he operates a business that sells custom items made of tinfoil, including a wildly popular series of hats.
Opinion: Chuck Norris Doesn’t Lose Debates. Debates Lose Chuck Norris.
By ScumAnonymous
Currently, users Conservallectual and Intelligence06 are debating whether Chuck Norris is the most powerful man in the universe. As interesting as that topic is, I think it brings us all to an even more interesting and important topic: Chuck Norris doesn’t lose debates. Debates lose Chuck Norris. The first part is obvious. Chuck Norris has a grand total of zero debate losses on DART. That’s better than oromagi, pal. And this is because, as we all know, Chuck Norris is the most powerful force in the universe. So if you’ve lost a debate, then obviously you don’t have the most powerful force in the universe. You’ve lost Chuck Norris. So if you want to win debates, then harness your inner Chuck Norris and roundhouse kick your opponent’s arguments straight through the plot armor and back into the future!
ScumAnonymous is a Chicago-based mafioso and sports writer.
Opinion: Missing Max
By Trump Porter
DART’s first elected president, airmax1227, has only made one post in the last four months. That makes him even sleepier than Sleepy Joe. What this clearly shows is that the presidential experiment has been a failure. The opponents of the office were correct. DART has no president. DART needs no president. No, ladies and gentleman, Republicans and DemoRATS, DART needs A KING. A king with the energy of Trump, the policies of America’s greatest president, the fighting spirit of The Donald. That’s right, folks. What DART needs is King Donald the Orange. Make DART Great Again!
Trum Porter is an Oklahoma-based journalist and the author of multiple books, including best-sellers Constantine: Making Rome Great Again and Orange Man Good.
SPORTS
Mafia Returns to DART
By ScumAnonymous
After months of inactivity in the forum games section, mafia has reasserted its presence on DART. Mharman is currently running an NFL mafia game, and WyIted has sign-up for a World Series of Poker game. As exciting as it is to see the game return to DART, it is a testimony to the fear-inducing reputation of the mafia that the game was absent for so long. Town cowered in terror at the mention of mafia! The mafia laughed and scorned town’s pathetic attempts to find them out! Now, with mafia’s return, we will once again terrorize the town! Muahahahaha!
Editor’s Note: The opinions expressed above belong to the author and do not represent the opinions of this newspaper. What could have possessed me to hire a mafioso to report on mafia games?
ScumAnonymous is a Chicago-based mafioso, sports writer, and deranged lunatic.
MEMBERS
Mall has returned to DART.
Novice has switched to his new account Novice_II, and Wylted has made a new account called WyIted, which has a capital i, not a lowercase L.
Untotalgenio, jamezrevenge, and MrDemographic2050 have joined the website. Please welcome them!
CLASSIFIED
RationalMadman is letting people know what he thinks whiteflame thinks about them. Go join the fun!
WyIted is looking for players in the World Series of Poker mafia! Let him know that you’re all in!*
*I may have stolen that joke from Mharman. Maybe. Possibly.
If you want to submit story suggestions or even complete stories to the DART, feel free to PM the editor!
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@badger
What ethnicity of female is hottest?
The ones that live in the Sahara.
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@Intelligence_06
Most interesting questions. I think I will go with refrigerators, pickles, and gridded graphs.
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@ILikePie5
I did not vote for Trump, Biden, or Clinton, and I would not vote for any of them now.
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@ILikePie5
Romney, Trump, or DeSantis?
Romney.
What industry do you work in?
Wild zontars will never drag that information out of me.
Favorite fast food place?
Don't have one.
Thoughts on the J6 Committee?
Revealed some good information. Needed to happen. Unnecessarily partisan, which seems deliberate, since Pelosi rejected most of the Republican nominees.
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@ILikePie5
Trump or DeSantis or Neither?
Neither. DeSantis would be a lot better than Trump, though.
Who is your favorite current politician
*laughs maniacally* Liz Cheney.
Who is your favorite politician ever
Lincoln.
Who is your favorite President
Also Lincoln. Washington is a close second for the last two questions.
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@ILikePie5
North America. I'm not as cool as the people who live in Antarctica.
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I haven't done one of these in a while. Ask me anything.
I may even answer.
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Not a lot of activity today. Where is everyone? Do the rest of you live in backwards world where you study and work on the weekends and have the weekdays off?
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@whiteflame
Oh. I forgot about that. That is a weird justification. A lot of them have been pretty bad, though.
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@That2User
Yeah I torture my fans, they clown me, why?
That was probably too much information. Giving away your justification can let people guess what your role is.
That being said, I wonder what role would have that as a justification? (Please don't answer that, and please, no one else openly guess at it. I can wait until after the game to satisfy my curiosity.)
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@That2User
If we mislynch Earth and we have 3 scum it's MYLO DP3, 2 mislynches away of losing
Worse than that. MYLO would be one mislynch away from losing, not two. However, this is true of every mislynch. The question is, "How likely is this to be a good lynch or a mislynch?"
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@zedvictor4
Is mathematics always representative of reality?
Not sure. This is a case of mathematics representing mathematics, though.
AH!......Is that what you are saying?
Kind of. Mathematically, an infinitely small fraction is just equal to 0. I can have 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 be a real number. It is a finite quantity. However, 0.000...1 is not. So if you have 0.9 recurring, there is no finite point remaining.
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@Speedrace
Two reasons. Firstly, I don't think there would be enough votes. Secondly, (and this is a bad reason, but very real) I'm scared to go down that route. If he were to flip town, I think I might be the next target, using up town's last lynch and costing us the game.
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@That2User
Why they null? Who you most willing to lynch?
They are null to me because none of them seem to be deviating from their usual scripts. I don't know if I can pick one that I would be most willing to lynch. A Danielle lynch is obviously not happening, so not her. I would be okay with GP, Speed, or Whiteflame.
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After doing the math, I'd be more comfortable lynching one of my null reads, which are GP, Speed, Whiteflame, and Danielle (although I think Danielle has a higher of spontaneously combusting than of being lynched this DP).
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@RationalMadman
Also, congrats on passing 400 debates!
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You could throw my lazy math off by introducing a 3rd party, but I doubt there's one of those out there.
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@RationalMadman
It was in that thread where you matched people to their high school stereotype.
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@Greyparrot
What are the odds speed is scum in your eyes.
Hmm. There are 10 players. I know I'm town. I'm 99% sure Chris is town. That leaves 8. I lightly townread Wylted, badger, and That2. They are less likely to be scum. I'll toss 1/3 of each of them out at random (bad image), leaving 5 and 6/3 players, or 7. I think that of those 5 players, Speed probably has an average chance of being scum of those 5 (except for Earth), and there are 3 scum. That's a 3/7 chance to be scum, or 43%. I think Earth has a somewhat higher chance of being scum, so that would decrease Speed's odds. To avoid more math, I'll cut his odds to 40%.
Possibly a stupid way to derive that, but the final result feels about right.
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@RationalMadman
Er, no thanks? It's not you that's entertaining (I hope I didn't accidentally offend you). It's your interpretation of me. I find that kind of thing entertaining, and you're better at it than most people.
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@zedvictor4
Actually, while this seems intuitively true, it isn't. There's actually a mathematical proof here, which I will present to show off my utter nerdiness. Before I begin, I need to establish two things: the density of rational and irrational numbers. Real numbers are divided into two sets: rational and irrational. These sets have properties called the density of rational/irrational numbers. This property means that:
For every (ir)rational numbers A and B such that A<B, there exists some (ir)rational number C such that A<C<B.
In plain English, if you have any two real numbers, whether rational or irrational, there will be a third number that is between them. For example, if we take 2.00 and 2.01, there are numbers like 2.005 that are between them.
Now suppose we have two real numbers A and B and that there is no number C such that A<C<B. Assume that A<B. Since A<B, by the density of rational/irrational numbers, there exists some number C such that A<C<B. This is a contradiction: we cannot have A<B and have no number C between them. Either A=B and there is no C, or A<B and there is a C.
The second thing to know is the mathematical definition of infinity. It means to increase without bound (or decrease, for negative infinity). That is, there is no point at which we can stop and say that infinity won't get any larger.
Now take 0.9 repeating and 1. By definition, 0.9 repeating has an infinite number of 9s after the decimal point. By definition, infinite means increasing without bound. Now suppose that there exists some C such that 0.9 repeating < C<1. C cannot be (1 - 0.1). It cannot be (1 - 0.01), or (1 - 0.0001). In fact, no matter how many 0s I add between the 1 and the decimal point, 0.9 repeating will be greater than C. Now suppose that we take the number (1 - 0.000...1), with an infinite number of 0s between the decimal point and the 1. That would fit the bill, right? Wrong. Notice what just happened. The 1 is in the infinity + 1 position after the decimal point. However, infinity + 1 is not a real number; that contradicts the definition of infinity. There cannot be a real number larger than infinity because infinity increases without bound. Consequently, 0.000...1, and thereby (1 - 0.000...1), is not a real number. Thus, there is no number C between 0.9 repeating and 1. Therefore, the only option is that A=B, proving that 0.9 repeating = 1.
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@badger
I'm saying that if I'm town, he's town.
Yeah, I get that's what you're saying. I just don't agree with it.
I really am drunk right now.
We can resume tomorrow. Or move on to something that might be more important.
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@badger
I'm sure that my insisting that Earth is doc means that if he isn't I'm mafia. But I guess you lot can doubt my ability to read it.
What I doubt is how your ability to read it has anything to do with whether or not the two of you are the same affiliation.
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Edit to my last post: I misread badger as saying, "but about what now?" rather than "but what about now?".
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@badger
Yes but what about now?
Correct that I didn't expect Earth to claim doc.
I insist Earth is doc. It's one of the strongest reads I've had in my entire mafia career.
Ok. I don't know whether he is or isn't myself.
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@badger
I'm not saying you're wrong about him, but I don't think that's a good basis on which to read someone.
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@badger
Yes lol.
So you expect him to agree with you, in a mafia game, on a debate website? And you're suspicious of him because he doesn't? To quote Joe Biden, "Come on, man!"
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@badger
I guess maybe I was way too certain of Earth's inevitable doc claim and that's just something you lot were not seeing.
You would be correct.
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@badger
But then I would expect his careful considerations to come to the same conclusions as my disarray of posts.
In other words, you expect him to agree with you?
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@RationalMadman
Entertaining as always. Thanks.
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I don't think you would be much more likely to do that if you were mafia teammates than if you were town. Maybe a little, but not a lot.
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@badger
The latter is more forgivable but FOS'ing Earth should always be to FOS me by
How so?
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