Mharman

Welcome the Satire Mafia! In this game we'll be poking fun of everything about our favorite game! NOTE: Because this is satire, don't expect it to be balanced too well. This game is mostly just for laughs.

Minimum of 9, but I can adjust the setup more if more players join.

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Hours later, protesters shouted we "We got one" and killed a man who was part of the pro-Trump caravan going through Kenosha.

I haven’t been keeping too much track of things, but it seems like someone is buying it and giving the league a third chance.

PLEASE DO NOT POST IN THIS THREASD WITHOUT PERMISSION. This is an archive of all mafia games in our community's history. Posted with permission from SupaDudz.

Contributors to this thread: F-16_Fighting_Falcon, Hatstand, SeventhProfessor, Smithereens, Socialpinko, Noumena, Buddamoose, Drafterman, SupaDudz, Mharman, and Ragnar.

This game will serve as a testing grounds for some ideas I have.

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I’ll admit I fell behind on this. However, coronavirus gives me time to catch up... so this edition will be about how teams finished their season before it got cancelled.

Taken from the YouTube channel “Urinating Tree”, lolcow is a term for a hilariously bad sports team, or sometimes an individual. While regular cows produce milk, a lolcow produces laughs.

Five losses to end the season, including losses to the Knicks and Kings.

They were the first NBA team eliminated from postseason contention... after being Western Conference Champions last year.

One year after being national runner-ups, they were eliminated from March Madness contention after losing in the ACC tournament to a mediocre team.

As much as I wanted them to beat the Wildcats (because Josh Johnson is cancer), they didn’t. They lost and became the team with the worst record.

The season has barely started, but they were showing early signs of lolcowdom in their first season ever.

At least the Warriors has some wins during their last week. The Vipers made their loss close. Most of the Pistons’ losses were not. Notre Dame has a decent amount of wins in their record. Nashville is a new team.

For those reasons, I say: Congratulations, Pistons! You are the second Lolcow of the Week! 🎉 😂 🐄

Join me next week as I focus on anything not a regular season that is going on... so expect to see a lot of NFL Free Agency Lolcows. I’m looking at you, Rams.

But only next year, because of coronavirus. :(

Dragons @ Roughnecks

Right now they’re tied at 0-0, but I think the Roughnecks stay undefeated. Dragons will give them a game.

Guardians @ Renegades

Guardians have the better quarterback situation, but they’re weaker everywhere else. Landry Jones’s backup has a chance to show off what he can do here. I have the Renegades.

BattleHawks @ Defenders

Like I said last week, I was wrong about the Defenders. They do not have a quality win and do not have a quality loss. The BattleHawks get better every week and are at the top of the East. I have the BattleHawks in a blowout.

Vipers @ Wildcats

Last week the Vipers capitalized off of Cardale Jones imploding. Josh Johnson, however, is better at quarterbacking this year than Cardale Jones. However, the Vipers have been playing with a lot of vigor lately. I’ll give the nod to the Wildcats because of home field advantage.

Taken from the YouTube channel “UrinatingTree”, a lolcow is a word for a hilariously bad sports team or individual.

Golden State Warriors (13-48)

The Warriors lost to two crappy teams and one good team last week, and beat the second-worst team in the league. They were Western Conference champions last year, now look how far they’ve fallen. It’s almost as if building a super team by trading for players you can barely afford doesn’t work out in the long run.

Kennesaw State Men’s Basketball (1-28)

20 consecutive losses. What else can I say? It’s pretty hard to accomplish.

Hofstra Women’s Basketball (3-25)

Almost 20. They’re at 19.

Detroit Red Wings (15-52)

Not only did they lose all of their games this week to bad teams, they are also the worst team in the league. And they’re the first team of the season to be eliminated from playoff contention. Excuse me while I go celebrate with SupaDudz.

DC Defenders (2-2)

They started off good... against crappy teams. Then they fall... against crappy teams. That’s what happens when Cardale Jones implodes to Nathan Peterman levels of ineptitude.

The Warriors at least got one win this week. The Defenders are still not under .500 (yet). Hofstra is one loss short of their ineptitude. The only team I saw as a challenge to them were the Red Wings, and even then, I just can’t ignore a 20 game losing streak. So congratulations, Kennesaw State! You are the very first Lolcow of the Week! 🎉 😂 🐄 

For the third time, I am late making this thread. 

I predicted the Wildcats to beat the Guardians. I was wrong.

I predicted the BattleHawks to beat the Dragons. I was correct.

Onto tomorrow’s games.

Roughnecks @ Renegades

The XFL’s biggest rivalry (The Texas Throwdown) is debuting tomorrow. The Renegades are a decent team, but the Roughnecks are too. The Renegades one loss was a close defensive game against the BattleHawks. The Roughnecks are undefeated, but they showed signs of weakness against the Vipers. The game will be contested, but I think PJ Walker will lead his team to victory.

Defenders @ Vipers

Last week, the Defenders got shellacked by the Wildcats in a game I consider to be an upset after watching the Guardians-Wildcats game. The Vipers themselves nearly upset the Roughnecks. As cool as it would be to see the underdog Vipers finally pull off the upset, I just don’t see it happening. I just doubt the Defenders will make the same mistake of underestimating their opponent like they did against the Wildcats. I also doubt the Vipers will be mentally ready for the game after the way last week’s upset bid ended. I think the Defenders will won by a comfortable margin.

Roughnecks @ Vipers

The Roughnecks have found themselves a great quarterback. They boast a solid offense and a solid defense. The Vipers have been embarrassed on both sides of the ball (by the Guardians in Week 1? Really?). To be fair, they did improve in Week 2, but this is the Roughnecks we’re talking about. I predict a big win for the Roughnecks.

Renegades @ Dragons

Bob Stoops’s team is not quite living up to the hype.  That being said, the Dragons right now are living mediocrity. Renegades come out with the win in a close one.

Guardians @ BattleHawks

Another crappy team represents New York/New Jersey. In Week 1 they smacked down the Vipers, but were completely exposed as fool’s gold once the Defenders smacked them silly in Week 2. I’ve been pessimistic about the BattleHawks for the first two Weeks, but not this week. All they have to do is limit Ta’amu’s interceptions (which should be easy against the Guardians), and they will win easily. BattleHawks win.

Defenders @ Wildcats

The Defenders are good. The Wildcats had a chance to be good, but flushed it down the toilet when they fired their defensive coordinator after 1 game against a quality offense. Management, amirite? Expect a Defenders win.

Once again, I am late in making this thread.

The Defenders beat the Guardians and the Dragons beat the Vipers. I was correct in both games.

Future games: 

Renegades def. Wildcats 

Roughnecks def. BattleHawks

We already have an artistic expressions forum.

I was right about the Defenders defeating the Dragons. I was also correct about the Roughnecks beating the Wildcats.

Current Record: 2-0

Future games:

Guardians def. Vipers

Renegades def. BattleHawks

“Mharman you haven’t been on the site for a long time, what have you been doing?”

I have been playing the absolute crap out of this game. It. Is. Fantastic. 👏 

Everyone except for Arose was modkilled! 

Arose was a survivor, so he won the game!

All you had to do was be patient!

With 12 alive, it takes 7 votes to lynch. Someone please get everyone in here, I am busy.

I am here to ask PressF and Supa for complete ownership of the paper so that I can restart it. I promise unbiased, factual, reporting. Any opinions will be in the opinion section.

There’s the orange crown for moderators, but what does the green outlet mean?

2 days ago I made a thread advocating for the impeachment of Virtuoso. Long story short, I was in the wrong.

My argument had gone something like this:

Virtuoso participated by saying “I’ll think about it” and not reporting the HoF campaign.

There was one problem, though. Virtuoso did report it. This was revealed to me by SupaDudz.

The face that Virtuoso did report it completely exonerates Virtuoso if any wrongdoing.

As such, I hereby apologize to Virtuoso for any damage to his reputation I may have caused. I’m sorry.

Jacoby Brisset is actually pretty good.

The will be one Mafia Roleblocker, one mafia bus driver, Two serial killers, one town roleblocker, one town doctor, and six Survivors. Town wins when all mafioso and serial killers are killed. Mafia wins when all town and serial killers are dead. A serial killer wins by killing all three targets. Survivors win by being alive when mafia meets their objective, town meets their objective, or all living serial killers have met their objective. Since this is new concept, I will give each faction one piece of advice.

Town: Mafia doesn’t know who is a townie and who is a survivor. Try to blend in as survivors. Don’t reveal you are town.

Mafia: Use your bus driver to place townies in harm’s way of the serial killers.

Serial Killers: Be aware of the bus driver. Choose your kill order wisely.

Survivors: Band together.

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Since I have now read Bsh1’s public statement and the Wylted Report, I think I am informed enough to post my thoughts.

Thoughts on TheHammer: Hammer was banned over a joke. Yes, he did falsify evidence, and that was wrong of him to do. However, I don’t think the offense was worthy of a perma-ban. Bsh1 should consider motivation. Hammer made the thread as a joke. He likely only falsified evidence to save himself from being banned over a joke. I think Hammer’s ban should’ve only been temporary.

Thoughts on Bsh1: My only problem is his perma-ban of Hammer. Whether the offense is excessive trolling or a personal attack, Hammer, to my knowledge, is a first time offender who even confessed and apologized for his actions.

Thoughts on Wylted: A temp ban was given to Wylted. I am fine with that. He committed an offense by campaigning for Supa against site rules.

Thoughts on Virtuoso: Virtuoso actively participated in a campaigning effort against site rules, since he is a mod, he has no grounds for an ignorance plea. He claims it would have not changed his votes, but contrary evidence has emerged. In the Wylted Report, which was confirmed by Bsh1, Virtuoso replied to Wylted’s campaign with, “I’ll think about it.”, indicating that it did affect his decision. Furthermore, he did not report it to Bsh1 when he should have. Considering this, especially the latter, it think it is fair for. Virtuoso to be removed from his position as a mod.

Thoughts on everyone else: No evidence to show anyone else knew about the “No campaigning” rule and willfully campaigned for Supa, and some didn’t even know about the campaign in the first place. I think Bsh1 is correct in not banning anyone else.

After Supa's game finishes, Speedrace can start his game.

After Speedrace's game finishes, Lunatic can start his game.

After Lunatic starts his game, the next person can post their sign-ups.

PressF was scum. PressF also won the game

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2. Club

3. Pie

Speedrace is dead and so is Supa. They were both town.

it takes two votes to lynch

1. PressF

2. Supa

3. Speedrace

4. Club

5. Pie

It takes 3 votes to lynch

Quickfire games are small mafia games that have their own separate sign-up list from regular games

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TOWN MVP: Wylted

MAFIA MVP: PressF

Pie - You are cheese. You touch every other ingredient on the pizza. Thus, you are the cop. Each night, you may select another player, and you will learn their affiliation. You win with the town.

Wylted - You are bacon. Everyone loves you, but they don’t put you on their pizza as much. You are a vanilla. You win with town.

Warren - You are green olives. There are two types of olives and thus, you are a Mason. You share a PM with your fellow mason. You win with town.

Club - You are black olives. There are two types of olives and thus, you are a Mason. You share a PM with your fellow mason. You win with town.

Cogent/Oromagi - You are green peppers. I hate those. You are vanilla. You win with town.

Bmdrocks - You are pepperoni. You will always be a staple of pizza. Thus, you are a bulletproof. You cannot be killed in the night. You win with town.

Supa - You are sauce. Every business loves you; they cling to their secret pizza sauce recipes. Thus, you are a beloved princess. If you die, the next phase is skipped. You win with the town.

Disc - You are sausage. An extremely underrated ingredient. You are a vanilla. You win with town.

Water - You are onions. I hate onions. You are a vanilla. You win with town.

Speedrace - You are pineapple. You’re terrible for pizza, yet so many like you. You are The Godfather. When investigated, you will appear innocent. You win with Mafia.

PressF - You are broccoli. Your flavor assails the tongue. You are a strongman. When committing the NK, you will succeed no matter what. You win with Mafia.

Wylted - Caught Speed DP1. Continued to help town lynch PressF DP3.

Pie - Investigated the right person and claimed at the right time.

Disc - Played well; I have nothing else to say.

Warren - Played better than in Celebrity Mafia.

Club - Outted himself as a mason early, making him an easy target for scum. More activity from him would be great.

Bmdrocks - General noob gameplay. Made some mistakes that I will not let go in future games.

Water - Some more activity would've been better. Still, he's definitely improving at the game.

Supa - Some more activity would've been great. Lynching himself was an idea that actually worked out pretty well for town.

Cogent/Oromagi - Both played well. I'll miss Cogent.

Speed - He was playing really well until he claimed calzone.

PressF - His choice not to NK anyone was a terrible decision. However, his chicken fake claim was fantastic.

PressF- Nothing

Pie - Cop Cogent/Oromagi

-Future games will not have a townie beloved princess ever again.

-Future games will sparingly use masons.

-Future 11 Player games will include a Survivor.

Supa - You are sauce. Companies love you. They even have their own secret recipes. You are the beloved princess. If you die, the next phase is skipped.

1. PressF

Speedrace- You are pineapple. You are terrible on a pizza, yet so many people like you. You are The Godfather. You will appear innocent to all cop investigations. You win with mafia.

no one

1. PressF

With 10 alive, it takes 6 votes to lynch.

I need someone to fill in for Cogent. Anyone Interested?

With 11 alive, it takes 6 votes to lynch.

Based off of pizza ingredients.

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Post your most offensive memes here.

#SaveOurSpam is a hashtag I created in an effort to save spam threads from being locked.

The term “spam thread” can be applied to multiple types of threads, but for our purposes, a spam thread is a thread created to inflate post counts, for entertainment, and for fun. In these threads, users will post random things, or even have chill conversations.

I’ll give you a few reasons.

One of the first spam threads on this site was “Record attempt at most posts” a spam thread with the goal of becoming the biggest thread on the site. This thread was brought over from DDO. Being a reincarnation of a DDO relic, this thread has a lot of history in it. Even some of the smaller spam threads are smaller tokens of site history that future users can find and learn about, and maybe even contribute to.

Similarly, these threads contain site culture. To lock these threads would prevent users from making their stamp on site culture.

These threads are nice little things on the site, and many users like them, so why ruin it for us?

These threads are also fun. Why deny someone the fun of just chilling out?

Therse threads also serves as breaks when everything else on the site becomes monotonous or when someone needs a break from debating and playing mafia. Why should people not have these break threads?

Any time you increase site activity, it is likely a good thing, especially in this case.

Why would you want to lower site activity?

They're not hurting anyone or anything either, so why get rid of them?

There are two things you can do to help:

1. Spread the # SaveOurSpam hashtag 

2. Vote “NO” on question 2 of the recent MEEP

Thank you for your time.

#SaveOurSpam

Found one: https://www.debateart.com/forum/topics/2216/best-online-bingo-sites

Ask away.

Fetal studies have shown the baby is alive. Quit saying it's a part of the woman's body.

Anybody wanna join? The code is in this link: http://surviv.io/#Vs6s

We did it boys

For weeks the left has been calling America an aggressor. Now, they will with have to accept that Iran is the aggressor or make the claim that Britain is also an aggressor. If they choose the former, they admit that they were wrong and Trump was right. If they choose the latter, they will have sided Iran over The Western World.

The Ball is in your court, leftists.

Wylted - You are a Crab. When people think Arthropoda, they think bugs. Few people think of crustaceans. Thus, you are a vanilla. You win with Town.

K_Michael - You are an Ant. You work together as a team, thus, you are a Mason. You share a PM with the Bumblebee, another Mason. In addition, you are everywhere. Thus, you are also a Tracker. Each night you may select one player and I will tell you who they visited. You win with town.

bsh1 - You are a Spider. You catch flies, mosquitoes, and other annoying bugs. However, you also catch helpful bugs, like bees and ants. Thus, you are a vigilante. You win with town.

ILikePie5 - You are a Katydid. No one ever thinks about you. This, you are a vanilla. You win with town.

Disciplus_Didicit - You are a cockroach. You are hard to kill. thus, you are a bulletproof. You win with town.

warren42 - You are a millipede. Everyone confuses you with a centipede. No one cares enough about you to look up what you are. Thus, you are a vanilla. You win with town.

oromagi - You are a Bumblebee. You may be small, but you work great with as a team. Thus, you are a Town Mason. You share a PM with the Ant, another Mason.

Greyparrot - You are a Trilobite. You are extinct. Thus, you are a vanilla. You win with town.

Supadudz - You are a scorpion. You sneak around, tracking your prey, and then confront them, leaving no remains. Thus, you are a Ninja. When visiting someone, you cannot be tracked, watched, or followed. You win with Mafia.

WaterPhoenix - You are a centipede. You charge at your prey with ferocity. Thus, you are a Strongman. When carrying out the night kill, you will break through anything that would normally save the victim. You win with Mafia.

NIGHT ACTIONS

NP1

SupaDudz - NK Wylted

bsh1- waive

K_Michael - waive

A few months ago I found out about this game called Surviv.io.

It's an amazing game.

the game is a 2D overhead view battle royale with 80 players per game. Players don't drop from a plane, they just spawn at a random location. The map is completely random too.

There are so many guns. From the weak M9 to the amazing AWM-S, this game has the guns for every play style. There's also melee weapons.

I could talk about this game all day. I encourage you to check it out.

kfc.

Please